Sometimes I want a child in the future. Preferably a girl. I have already picked their name. I already have some strong opinions on child rearing. Based on being someone’s child and on my general socio-political positions.
That said, I have mental health problems. Even at the best of times they are mild bordering to moderate. When at their full effect they are severe and have bordered on catastrophe. This is my major fear becoming a parent. Will I pass on the damage genetically? If not, will I pass it on through trauma?
My other fear, equal to my mental health is climate change. Most people’s initial reaction to this and other contexts is dismissal. My entire life it has been a spectre hanging over our heads and even though severe outcomes are incipient (and in many ways already tangible), people scoff when I say this.
My mental health and bringing my child into a world unfit for human habitation are major concerns for me. The common saying is “your child did not ask to be here”, in that case why would I bring them into a world that is not only rife with white supremacy and all it entails (racism, sexism, homophobia, capitalism…). I would be bringing them into a life where at least one of their parents has issues that would affect their well being, and a world that is inhospitable to their very existence.
I could not reconcile this for a long time. Especially in the darkest depths of my depression. However, I have a solution now. Me.
My plan is to work on my mental health and use the skills acquired in my area of expertise and interest, to tackle and solve both issues. If I can make major headway aggressively and quickly then I can consider bringing a child into this world.
If I cannot make such progress, then it would be unfair and selfish to have a child. It would be solely for my amusement, and not to give someone a happy existence. I would also not have created a feasible way the child can continue any improvements I do make, to make their life and their future childrens’ lives tenably happy.
In other words. If I have a child, I think humanity is worth saving. Otherwise it is a waste of time.